So, I liked New Kids On The Block when I was growing up, I was young, but I still liked their music, but uh ... this totally made me cringe. That's ... really all I have to say about that.

I don't really have much time for soaps these days, but ... I've been hardcore into Days of our Lives as of late, and these two are totally the reason why. Seriously, I encourage everyone to check them out. The soaps have been sorely lacking in hotness as of late, and good romance, and for their age difference, which is pretty big, they bring a whole new level of hot to daytime, and I guess they've pretty much consumed my life.

 

So, um, me and my boyfriend broke up.

Yup. I believe that's what we did. The decision was not mutual, but it's definitely for the best, because I need time to adjust to being a new mother all over again, without there just being this huge elephant in the room all the time, because of past issues. And, I wasn't getting what I wanted out of the relationship, and it was selfish of me to ask him to do things that I knew he couldn't do for me. I have no idea what's going to happen after this, but I'm going to take it one day at a time, and focus on being the best mother I can be. I'm not going to lie and say that none of this hurts me, 'cause it does, but the loss of Dacia has impacted our relationship, and I just fear that without her, nothing will be like it used to be. He's a drug junkie, and as much as I want to kick his ass for hurting me, and not even trying to get clean for his kids, I refrained from doing so, because it'll only make things worse in the long run.

I'm feeling a little better, though. I watched, "Music and Lyrics" with my sister, and I absolutely loved it. Why didn't I see this movie sooner?! And, I also watched, "Catch and Release", which is tres amazing. I didn't think it was possible to be as obsessed with a movie as I am with these two. Plus, drowning my sorrows in ice cream is so cliche, and I wasn't up for that. No. So, I drowned them in romantic comedies, and it helped!

Oh, and did FF really need that stupid software update? It's not like it's going to make that stupid 3am database error go away. I NEED MY FF BACK! It helps keep me sane.

So, my fiance called our wedding off. Obviously he's not my fiance anymore. Boyfriend, I guess? We didn't break up, but we have been at each other all weekend, and the only argument I agree with him is, is that we are two different people from what we once were when we were teenagers. He told me that it's not that he doesn't love me, because he does, but that he's in love with the idea of who I was when he left me four years ago, and that I'm not the Anastasyia he left, but instead, I'm Lexy, a full time mother, and before we can get married, he has to get know the person I am now, instead of the girl that he left behind. He was in such a rush to propose to me because he had me, and he didn't want to lose me, but the second he had me, he was losing me anyhow, because we just couldn't find any common ground, and we just don't know who each other is anymore. He's a recovering drug addict, and it worries me sometimes that he still could be on drugs, but I guess I have to trust that with three kids now at home, he's since laid off of them.

People think that he's such a bad guy, but he's not. Not one bit. I trust him with my children, and he was a great father to our daughter. But, he's also an oil heir. One of many, at least. And, it bothers me so much to have to tell people that I am not with him for his money. When we first started dating, he kept that from me, so obviously, it proves that I couldn't have started dating him for his money. He's a bucketful of issues right now, since he's still dealing with the loss of his father, and inheriting a lot of money, plus, he's a new father. It's best that our wedding was called off, because we need time to get to know each other, and discover who the other is all over again.

On the front side, Leila and Arabella are coming home sometime within the next week and a half. My poor C.J., though, he's still battling with a chest infection, so please, everyone keep him in your prayers! I have a few pictures, though, so if anyone wants to see, just let me know!

So, um, apparently I became the topic of gossip at NYU over my little college break. And people wonder why I'm going to drop out. It pisses me off that Tony didn't bother to tell me that I was being talked about while I was gone. I guess I had to learn the hard way, and that's what I did.

I had just finished my visual communications concepts class, which might I add, was like, the most boring thing I ever had to sit through, and I'm not one that generally listens when someone is speaking. So, I pretty much zoned out. Anyways, after my communications class, I hightailed it over to the library, which you know, is probably not the prettiest sight. I mean, who wants to see a pregnant woman practically sprinting across campus just to get to the library? And, on top of that, the damn library has to be all the way across the campus from where my VCU class was. I'm telling you, I just have all the luck. To continue, I had to go to the library to pick up a book for my public relations class, for I had a thesis that was due within 48 hours. I figured I would just stay at the library because it was quiet there, and I didn't think I'd be bothered. I sat down at a table and started to take notes, and about 10 minutes later I hear, "How do you pronounce her name? It's not pronounced, 'AnastaYsia', is it?" To clear that up, the way she said my name was, "Ana (as in Anna) Stay (as in well, STAY), and SIA (as in . .CYA). Yeah, that's not how my name is pronounced. Her friend replies back to her, "Why don't you just ask her? She can probably hear us anyways. Besides, Tony told me that she's bitter because of Bella's death, so I doubt she's answer you, nor would she even talk to you in the first place." By that time, I was trying not to let what they were saying get to me, because I didn't need their nonsense, but it did piss me off that they knew who Tony was, as well as me, and they had knew of my daughter's death. So, I went back to minding my own business, or as best as I could, but their talking was as loud as a freight train, and I hear, "Bryan beat her up didn't, he? That's why they broke up, right? I talked to him about three months ago, and he's so sweet. I bet she lied. I don't see a single bruise on her. I do feel bad for her children, though, because I bet those babies aren't even Tony's." I'm Lexy, I'm hormonal, and I never let a moment pass me by to get in someone's face, so, I did just that.


If you're going to talk about someone, make it a little less obvious, and try not to be such a freaking blond about it. That just irks me so much. Not to stereotype or anything, but half of NYU's student body is full of little sorority girls, who cannot keep their mouths shut. I'm not one of those girls, and if you piss me off, I will get in your face. So, I proceeded to put all my books into my bag, and I walked over to the ecology section, which is where they were pretending to not work, or most likely discussing what color their nails should be painted that week. I tried my hardest to rid of my accent, but it stayed, and I probably sounded like my mom, but at least I was getting my point across. As I approached them, I tapped the red head on her shoulder, and in the most polite, yet smart ass way, I believe I said, "You bimbos want something? Maybe a little 411. 'Cause, I've got to go on the hunt for my babies daddy, and then I've got an appointment with my ex, so he can beat my brains in. Next time you want to know something about me, you ask. Say everything a little louder, because I'm sure the folks in good ol' London didn't hear you. You don't know me, I don't know you. Lets keep it that way. And more especially, you didn't know my daughter, and damn, if she knew you, guaranteed she'd tell you that you're gross, and that that you're hygiene needed to be worked on. And just a little FYI, I'm bitter because of people like you two that get on my one third nerve, and I bet you can't even tell me what that is. So, before you decide to start talking about me so openly, in a library, where you're supposed to be doing your studying, and keeping your mouth shut anyways, just know that gossip will get you nowhere in life. It might be why I'm sporting the ring, and you're not."

Eh. Scopi quello. Sono una femmina che ormonale non desiderate scompigliare con.

Seriously, what is this world coming to? I have one happy day, and the next day is complete shit. I sometimes wonder about the mentality of some people.

Oh, and little more FYI on me, since I obviously love sharing my personal business. My actual name is pronounced, Ana - (the A is silent, and is pronounced like the name, "Anya", like on Buffy, just minus the Y), Stas - (um, once again, the A is silent, and it sounds like Sasha, but, it's, "Stas" instead), Yia - (The Y is silent, and is pronounced like an E, and, "ia" sounds like "eya"). It's one hell of a complicated name, but you can obviously tell I am not from this country. My middle name is, "Alexzandra", which is where my nickname, "Lexy" stems from. It's easier, and a heck of lot less complicated. And to also set the record straight, yes, I have four children, and my son has a different father then all of the rest, but that was beyond my control, and if you're smart enough to know what that means, well kudos to you. I was in an abusive relationship with my ex boyfriend, and while most people in my situation would probably rather stay far away from their psycho exes, I don't. I believe in second chances, and I don't believe in holding grudges. He is my son's father, and while I can't stand him at all for anything that he did to me, one thing people should know about me, is that while I may be a bitch, I'm extremely forgiving. I never lied about being abused, and if those slutty bimbos had realized that the only reason I didn't have bruises on me, is because I've been out of that relationship for almost a year now, and obviously, my bruises would be gone. I guess it takes one blond to know the other. Oy.